Gokudera I choose you!
by Anpan Roller
Summary: Gokudera is not a damned Pokemon! Pokemon AU, Crack, Bad words courtesy of Gokudera, hinted 8059


It was your regular, spontaneous friendly match between over-zealous trainers. (Although, according to Tsuna, it was more of failing to avoid Yamamoto's field of vision which resulted in the exclamation mark in the speech bubble above his head.) Inconsiderately blocking others' way by fighting in the middle of the road, Yamamoto Takeshi and Sawada Tsunayoshi watched intently as their Pokemons fought.

"Nuts! Tail Whip!" Tsuna instructed. Within a flash the lion struck its final blow to the swallow and the dog, lashing them so hard they flew back. Little spirals twirled in place of their eyes, rendering them unable to continue fighting.

_Jiro and Kojiro are unable to battle. Nuts wins!_

A slightly demotivated Yamamoto recalled his Pokemon. His fingers hovered over the mini-Pokeball on his belt, wondering if he should bring a Pokemon he just caught into battle. But being your typical trainer with his bad habits, the urge to try out a new Pokemon burned inside him. He enlarged the metallic ball and tossed it onto the ground. "I choose you-"

A puff of smoke appeared and dissipated, revealing the Pokemon concealed in the fabric of the smoke. "Gokudera!"

The creature, who looked just like a midget, stood there in a daze, loosening the grip on what seemed to be a cigarette between his lips. A bewildered look brushed past his face.

Gokudera suddenly appeared to have remembered something. He scanned the area, before his large eyes spotted his target: the man who practically threw him onto the ground just now. "You!" He bared his teeth in a sneer, jumping over and pulling his shirt. "What is the meaning of this!" He nodded to the Pokeball which he was contained in earlier on. Of course he'd be pissed; he had had his lunch interrupted by some random attacks from this random guy whose idea of a challenge was to dump a bird and a dog right in his face. And as if to add on to that, he was zapped into this tiny confined space for hours. Crap his back's breaking.

Because Yamamoto found it very amusing to have Gokudera hanging on to his clothes, he laughed the most irritating chuckle Gokudera has ever heard. "Well, I've always wanted to catch a Gokudera... So I'm happy I caught you because you're such a rare Pokemon!"

The said-Pokemon's menacing baring of fangs grew wider as he growled, "I'm not a fucking Pokemon! I'm a mafia for fuck's sake!"

"Yup, that's what my Pokedex told me." Yamamoto had a smug smile hung in place as he recited the info on his Pokedex. "Gokudera. Flying/fire type, mafia pokemon. This extremely temperamental Pokemon can spew a lot of vulgarities. Doesn't like idiots."

"Flying? I don't even have a fucking pair of win-"

"Gokudera! Flamethrower!"

Gokudera instantly stopped whatever he was doing and leapt off his chest. He flung an obscene number of dynamites in mid-air at the unsuspecting enemy. "Rocket Bomb!" Some smoke and a few seconds later, Nuts flopped over, coughing soot and completely unconscious.

Meanwhile, a certain silver-haired Pokemon turned to stone, shocked at his instinctive reaction.

_Nuts is unable to battle! Gokudera wins!_

A worried Tsuna called back Nuts and quickly settled on his next Pokemon. (Well, it would have been quick for anyone if they picked the next Pokemon randomly.) He tossed the Pokeball and in a puff of smoke a Pokemon with similar build to Gokudera materialized. "Go, Mukuro!"

The only distinctive features of this Pokemon that separated him from Gokudera was the purple nappo hair and the pair of eerily mismatched eyes. Other than that, the oversized head on small bodies and the disproportionately large eyes remained the same. Before Yamamoto had a chance to retrieve his Pokedex to check out Mukuro, Tsuna had already called for the next move. "Confusion!"

The Pokemon gave a sly smile and a "kufufu..." as a Kanji character (Yamamoto couldn't read it because nobody in Kanto, Johto or Hoenn knew what was a Japan) appeared in one of his eyes. In the midst of brewing the attack, it was interrupted by another blinding flash of light.

When everybody opened their eyes they noticed a different Pokemon standing next to Mukuro. He was of a slightly smaller size than the Psychic Pokemon, but his presence was equally intimidating nonetheless. After rubbing his eyes, Tsuna exclaimed, "Hi-Hibari-san!" He looked down with much dread to spot the empty Pokeball on his belt. There was a silent whine of defeat. Not again, this is the third time this week Hibari popped out of his Pokeball on his own.

It bothered Gokudera that there was an additional rival. But he guess he could be well at ease -for the moment, at least- since the raven-haired Pokemon's tonfas were directed at his own party member.

"Rokudo Mukuro, I'm going to bite you to death."

An amused smile cracking on his face, Mukuro got into fighting stance as well. "We'll see."

They threw themselves at each other. Some deadly blows were exchanged in this battle of the chibis. Hibari bared his fangs to use Bite, which Mukuro promptly dodged and returned the favour with a Psybeam.

Yamamoto cocked his head as he watched the scene unfold. A puzzled expression formed on his face. "So we're playing doubles?" He quizzed, to which a panicky Tsuna replied with a dreadful "Eh?" But nevertheless, another excited grin smudged the taller teen's lips. He reached for his Pokeball. _The_ Pokeball. "Seems like I have no other choice then. I wanted to save a legendary Pokemon for more important battles but..."

Tsuna gulped. He had absolutely no intention of ever battling a legendary Pokemon. Actually, he had absolutely no intention of battling Pokemons at all, if he wasn't forced to. But trying to recall the tussling Pokemons were impossible; they moved too much to be able to aim the Pokeball at them accurately. All he could do is cross his fingers and hope for the best. Gokudera, too, held his breath.

"Go-" The Pokeball bounced off the ground and split open. The legendary creature materialized. He seemed to be yet another midget, with shiny black boots and green hair which resembled a marimo. Three swords were hanging by his waist, emitting a fearsome aura around this strong beast. Well, he would have intimidated everyone to death, if there wasn't a large bubble expanding and deflating by his nose while he snoozed. "-Roronoa Zoro!"

"HE'S IN THE WRONG FANDOM!"

The snooze bubble broke as Zoro was stirred awake. He got up with a slightly upset grunt and scratched the back of his head, "Is it lunch already?"

"Yo, Zoro," Yamamoto greeted. It was as though the swordsman had always been a part of the original mafia story. "Lunch'll be ready after this battle alright?"

Zoro turned to face his opponents, drawing out his swords as he got ready. "Let's finish this quickly then."

Yamamoto agreed. "Zoro, Headbutt! Gokudera, Gust!"

Battle cries were heard as both Pokemon lounge themselves forward. Gokudera whipped up a fairly extensive storm. Hibari and Mukuro were caught in the grasp of the storm, but unfortunately Zoro ran into the vortex as well.

When the whirlwind subsided it had Hibari and Mukuro stumbling all over in dizziness. Zoro was still yelling and headbutting, though, in the wrong direction.

Yamamoto and Gokudera looked on, speechless, as their comrade sprinted into the forest.

_Zoro is unable to battle! Hibari and Mukuro wins!_

"Well, so much for the legendary Pokemon." Gokudera then shouted at Yamamoto, "And you! Stop doing that thing to me!" The rival Pokemons shook their giddiness away after a short while, and carried on their meaningless but fearful battle.

Yamamoto studied the seemingly powerful Pokemons. His lips thinned and his brows furrowed. This is bad. With Gokudera as the only usable member of his party, it looks like the opponent has the upper hand. There is only one way if he wants to win this fight. But of course, risks are involved. Careful consideration has to be made.

"Gokudera," Yamamoto squatted down to match his height with his Pokemon's. The smile on his face was wiped off. "First of all I want you to know that you're my Pokemon so I will respect all your decisions."

"I told you, I'm not a Poke-"

"So," he brandished a clear, apricot-coloured stone. "Whether you want to evolve and become stronger so you can defeat them and regain glory for you, me, Zoro and Jirou and Kojirou, all of whom have placed high hopes on you, or whether you want to remain as this weakling that you are right now, is totally up to you." He said it with the utmost sincerity.

Gokudera swallowed all of his protests he had at the moment. The man's eyes were shimmering so much he could see his own undecided reflection in his pupils. He could sense it, Yamamoto's concern for him. Gokudera could tell that this baseball idio- he meant trainer idiot, could still be overflowing with kindness when the time calls for. Maybe it's time for him to reciprocate the kindness, just so he doesn't owe him anything of course. He knew Yamamoto wanted him to evolve, and he _should _evolve after everything he's done for him (despite it not being a lot, or even existent) but-

-wait, he's not a damned Pokemon!

He smacked the offensive stone out of his owner's hands. _(Ouch, who knew that goddamn rock was so fucking hard?)_ "No way! I don't want to evolve! Look, I'm happy just the way I am! Don't you have some confidence in me huh?" He paused, before remembering to add on the most important point. "Besides, I'm _not_ a Pokemon!"

Yamamoto was mildly stunned. He casted a glance at the fallen fire stone, and then at Gokudera. A light sigh escaped his throat. "I understand." He got up and picked up the stone. "If you don't want to evolve, I will force you."

"What?"

He started to scamper away but Gokudera's puny legs didn't bring him far before the scheming trainer caught up with him and heaved him up in one scoop. Gokudera put up a fruitless, frenetic struggle. "Wai-Wait this isn't even going to work! Because I am not a fucking Po-"

The hot stone met his skin. A sudden blazing light ripped through the battlefield. Yamamoto and Tsuna had to shield their eyes because it was way too bright. When they recovered all they saw was a slightly different Gokudera. Neatly pressed suit replaced loose shirt and gothic accessories. His silvery hair became more trimmed and he wore a look of such maturity and stability it was difficult to believe they were related by evolution.

"Adult Gokudera?" Yamamoto asked, pleasantly surprised at Gokudera's older form.

"What do you want? I'm a busy man." A mark of disdain flashed across the Pokemon's face.

"Ahaha! Adult Gokudera!" The overjoyed man flung his arms around the creature. "I've always wanted Adult Gokudera for myself!"

Tsuna, on the other side of the field, studied the situation. He flitted from the scene where Yamamoto danced jovially around his new Pokemon, to the scene where Hibari was still attempting to bite Mukuro to death. With his opponent getting stronger Pokemons and his fighting among themselves, he was obviously in quite a predicament. Something burned inside his backpack, itching to be touched.

The next thing Yamamoto and Adult Gokudera faced was a Tsuna hovering in mid-air, aided by jets of flame spurting out of his very palms. Their jaws dropped right down to hell.

"The trainer is actually a Pokemon?" Adult Gokudera exclaimed, intrigued by the flame burning on his forehead.

"I'll take care of you guys by myself," Tsuna muttered more than announced.

Upon hearing their master's voice, Hibari and Mukuro's keen ears twitched. The fighting ceased. "Hyper..."

"...Tsuna?" They completed each other's sentence. Something evil twinkled in their eyes. With that, they leapt off the ground impatiently, flying straight at Tsuna.

Tsuna was promptly knocked over, crashing into the ground, having his flames extinguished in the process. "Hey, wait, you're not supposed to get m- mmph! H-Hey Hibari-san get off my face please! Ahh! Mukuro! What are you doing there? Nngh..."

_Tsuna is unable to battle! Yamamoto wins!_

Gokudera could have self-destructed there and then.

Omake!

Meanwhile, on the Thousand Sunny, the Straw Hats listened to the story behind the disappearance of their crewmate. They were, undoubtedly, amazed at the prowess of Zoro's sense of direction and listed "_running into another fandom"_ as the top evidence that this man is a complete and utter idiot.


End file.
